Your daughter, my daughter, that little girl down the street, any one of them, every one of them could change the world we live in.
Every day in this country and across the globe people fall in love. Boy meets girl, girl smiles at boy...
If it were that sweet. I am not completely cynical. I do believe in love. In fact, Love is the one thing in this worldly life that I am Certain of. I believe for the most part, we all mean well. I believe that when these perfect little babies join us in this world, they are gifts from God, miracles. Absolute proof of God's Love.
So what's my biff? I'll tell you.
I think Scout (our now 7 year old daughter) was 3 when she discovered her obsession for Barbie. Not just Barbie, but Princess Barbie. I grew up with Barbie, harmless I thought. The dolls became movies. Not just Barbie movies, but now we have Disney Princess movies. Disney, I say. What could be the harm in that? It's Disney after all. Who didn't grow up on Disney? So we are watching this innocent little show about a 16 year old girl who blatantly disobeys her father after giving him an extremely disrespectful piece of her mind. She then runs away to make a complete stranger kiss her and fall in love with her. Oh, this is great! Don't worry though, it has a happy ending. Our 16 year old princess finds her prince and GETS MARRIED!!!
What's the message here? The list goes on and on. Our daughters are told from the moment they can be parked in front of a tv, that they are not complete. They must be pretty, they must be perfect little princesses and they must find a man to make them happy.
It hasn't stopped. Scout is now 7 and her tastes have grown. Barbie and the Princesses are still very present in her life, but she has managed to make way for High School Musical's 1 and 2, Hannah Montana, The Jonas Bros, The Cheetah Girls... etc.
Keep in mind that Scout has never attended school outside of our home, her access to television is limited to less than 1 hour per day and all time on the internet is 100% monitored.
Society is everywhere. I have no intention of hiding it from her. I cannot protect her by pretending this world does not exist. I must PREPARE her.
I feel it only fair that I prepare the world for her as well. She's a firecracker!
I moved to Charleston, SC with my husband and children in November of 2005. The palm trees and blooming flowers were a shocking contrast to the icy, bitter cold of central Minnesota. The shock was minor compared to what I was to see in the coming months.
I was saddened. I was angry. Mostly, I was hopeful. I knew what I had to do.
Empowered For Life is a course created primarily for young girls 10 and up. It's a course that begins at the core of her very being and step by step explores tools for use in every day life that lead to personal mastery and grace. With absolute confidence in her ability to move through life as a complete and total human being, your daughter (niece, sister, friend, friend's daughter...you fill in the blank) can choose her path. She will be predator proof.
As we await the release of the book, I will continue to post here. Your email questions and comments are welcome.
Our website will be up soon and I will let you know just as soon as it goes live.
I look forward to hearing from you and I thank you for your interest in this program and your help in changing the world.
Heather Olson
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Your Daughter Can Change the World
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12 comments:
Heather,
Here's hoping that the lessons you teach these girls will give them confidence and self-assurance to last throughout their lives. I had the blessing of a butt-kicking mother to help me out, and I STILL managed to falter. Maybe I needed your class! :-) Best of luck to you! Paige
I'm thrilled to have been directed to you. I've a 10 year old daughter who has a very good sense about her but it's hard for her when media/societal expectations are so pervasive. I can't wait for the book and to continue reading here. Thank you. Mandy
Heather,
I know how hard you have worked on this program and am so excited to see you bringing it to the rest of the world. I'll be sending the info on to my sister in law, who is now charged with raising our 12 year old neice who has recently been orphaned. You can bet we'll be checking in often, as the task of raising her will not be easy. I respect and value all that you are offering of yourself with this program...
Much love, Leila
Mandy,
Welcome and thank you for your participation. I hope you will continue to comment and share your ideas with us as well.
Heather Olson
Paige,
Thanks for your kind comments. I love teaching this course and I am really looking forward to taking it national with the book.
I hope you will continue to share your thoughts.
Heather Olson
Hi Leila,
My thoughts and prayers are with your sister in law and your niece. Being 12 is challenging enough, but to add the painful loss of her mother to the mix, moving in with relatives and the whole mess surrounding that situation, this young woman has her hands full. Your sister in law is clearly an amazing woman and I hope she finds this blog a welcoming place of peace. God Bless.
Heather Olson
Heather, I am the sister-in-law you refer to as 'amazing' and I only hope I will be amazing throughout this new journey! I thank you for your thoughts and prayers and I truly thank Leila for sharing your Blog with me. Leila referred to our niece as orphaned -- I believe she has been rescued! The circumstances surrounding her life with her mother are far to involved to go into here so I will simply share that her mothers (my baby sister’s) passing was truly a blessing from God. I agree that my hands are full with this 12 year old and my 6 year old son who has some adjusting to do as well! She is a wonderful child and very smart. I am confident she will blossom as a result of the love, security, and stability our home offers. I also believe the love and support of our wonderful families will keep my husband and I strong enough to succeed in this venture!
First impressions are precious and I continue to instill in my niece that, even though she doesn't seem concerned about reputation NOW, reputation is the most important thing one possesses; it must be valued and protected throughout all time! The images our youths are continually bombarded with are simply unrealistic and unfortunately are resulting in shattered self-esteem for many. Low self-esteem may very well be the toughest obstacle there is with my niece. Rather than buy into the "Preps," as she calls the Barbie dolls, my niece has rebelled to the dark side and feels strong kinship with the Goths and the Emus. This display of her inner self is just as synthetic as the Preps but as most kids do today, she is reaching out -- any reaction is better than none! Therefore, appropriate reinforcements/reactions from friends and family are paramount to our kids and their overcoming the issues they face each day.
I look forward to your book and sharing it with her! Thank you again and Best of Luck with getting it on the shelves. Cheryl
Cheryl,
Welcome and thank you for your kind comments.
Please encourage your niece to post comments and questions as well.
I would imagine her faith has been severely challenged by the last few years leading up to her mother's passing. She likely questions everything and everyone she once trusted.
Being enveloped and loved unconditionally will be critical for her. She survived in a conditional relationship and that's all she may have understood. She will likely test you. She may not believe you. She may push you away very hard to see if you really love her.
Tell her everyday that you love her no matter what and know that she will try to prove that you don't. Remember to breath.
I look forward to your comments. Please let us know how you all are doing.
God Bless you and your family.
Heather Olson
Okay, I don't quite know how I did that. Perhaps Erik was using my computer. LOL
At least you can see what a handsome man he is. :)
Heather Olson
Heather,
I really enjoyed your first blog, and look forward to many more. I've passed your link along to many friends and relatives, and I hope they too can benefit from the words of wisdom and wit.
Looking forward to more...
:)
Cheryl,
Bless you for taking on your niece! I too have adopted my twin nieces who had many issues when they arrived at my door. 8 years later, they are now strong, self confident & empowered young women. Love heals all! The love you own WILL work miracles!
One of my young nieces (11) also started dressing in the Goth garb. My Mom & her parents kept getting on her about it but the more they complained the more stuburn she became. When I visited over the holidays I questioned her about her 'goth' belief. She thought I was going to give her the same speach as her other family and was surprised by my question. She didn't know anything about the 'beliefs' just wanted to look cool and fit in with some of the other kids. After talking with her about it she was shocked (being a christian helped!) and has since stopped pretending to be something she is not. She gave all the 'dark' clothes away and now looks very pretty in pink!
A couple things that really help me with teens is... 1) talk to them not at them 2) ask questions, let them think for themselves and come up with the answers (with guidance) 3) love them just as they are
Wishing you much love and happiness as you journey with your new daughter!
Dear Tina,
Thank you for your blessing and well wishes. I appreciate your comments about your niece and the Goth garb, which by the way, is an interesting choice of words... Unfortunately, my niece has committed to be an agnostic - initially she was convinced she was an atheist until she learned that atheist believe in nothing - so the Christianity will not help me in my efforts. Like you, I am keeping the lines of communication open with her. I do not criticize nor condemn her choices even they are foreign to me and my beliefs. My husband and I are also big believers in asking questions so we both try to get her (and our 6 year old) to think for themselves, an interesting challenge in and of itself! The thing that disturbs me about the Goth is "the black" - I remember the Rolling Stones "I see a red door and I want to paint it black" - and I am aware that in addition to seeking a style and/or fitting in with the other kids-as you pointed out, it is a sign of depression.
She certainly has had many challenges during her young life; unfortunately her mother's constant criticisms and condemnations resulted in her having very low self esteem. I continue to reinforce my love and support her and her choices, unconditionally! I sincerely believe that she will gain confidence as time goes on and I know she will make good choices - she is exceptional!!!
I commend you as well for taking on two, twins no less! Wow, that must be exciting and again thank you for the boost of encouragement - LOVE will prevail.
Cheryl
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