"May there be peace within you today.
May you trust God that you are
exactly where you are meant to be."
Anonymous
Anonymous
Have you ever noticed yourself saying "I'll be happy when..."? Perhaps when you get into that new house? Or when you get a new car? Perhaps when you lose weight, or maybe when Summer finally gets here?
What about now? Why are we looking to the future for our happiness? If we always focus on the future, we miss today. We miss right now.
We think we will be happy when something happens, but it's an illusion. True happiness comes from within.
In our culture, we confuse Happiness with Pleasure. In seeking happiness we acquire things that bring us pleasure.
We see this every day. Look around. Watch TV. Check out the shopping networks or the diet ads. Have you ever sat down with a bag of chips or a pint of ice cream hoping to feel better?
Drugs and alcohol are common sources of happiness seeking black holes.
Have you ever had a craving? Perhaps it's simply a confused synapse in your inner-self asking you to pay attention. The real craving isn't for the cigarette, drink, hit, ice cream, etc. The real craving is for happiness.
There is only one place to find that. Happiness is on the inside. Happiness is in your mind and in your heart. Not your organ, but the heart of your soul. It may be hard to imagine, but happiness is a choice.
I've heard girls tell me "I want to be happy. It can't possibly be a choice or I'd choose it. Bad stuff always happens to me."
They feel stuck. Stuck in a world without any control, without a map. They seek happiness and find boys or men who tell them what they think they want to hear. They have no meter that measures truth or respect. These girls were never taught that only they can define what they deserve.
My goal is to offer young women tools and training to find happiness from within. It's okay to seek pleasure as long as you understand that's what you are doing. Buy a new dress because you want a new dress, not because you feel bad and shopping makes you feel better.
Girls need a "Self Respect Meter". A tool that measures all aspects of their lives against a personal set of standards that she sets for herself. Point that meter at a guy and check to see if he qualifies to take her to the dance. Point that meter at a job or potential boss and see if they qualify to employ her. Will she move toward her goals with this in her life?
Well technology hasn't brought us there yet, but we can start with a decision making model. I recommend the book "Yes or No" by Spencer Johnson, MD. In it he tells a story that presents a formula for decision making. It's very simple. It's very valuable.
The first decision you can make right now is to find something, anything around you that you love. Be happy with it right now in this moment. You may be feeling so stuck that you cannot see anything that fits that bill. If so, let's practice by closing your eyes and remembering something that you love. Make it bigger, make it louder, more colorful. Now, feel that love. However brief you may have held that feeling, you chose it. You can choose it again. And again. It takes time and practice. After all, it took practice to feel bad. You had to learn it. You had to input negative data on a regular basis. You see, you were born perfect. You were born happy. What you may have missed is that you are still perfect right now.
What about now? Why are we looking to the future for our happiness? If we always focus on the future, we miss today. We miss right now.
We think we will be happy when something happens, but it's an illusion. True happiness comes from within.
In our culture, we confuse Happiness with Pleasure. In seeking happiness we acquire things that bring us pleasure.
We see this every day. Look around. Watch TV. Check out the shopping networks or the diet ads. Have you ever sat down with a bag of chips or a pint of ice cream hoping to feel better?
Drugs and alcohol are common sources of happiness seeking black holes.
Have you ever had a craving? Perhaps it's simply a confused synapse in your inner-self asking you to pay attention. The real craving isn't for the cigarette, drink, hit, ice cream, etc. The real craving is for happiness.
There is only one place to find that. Happiness is on the inside. Happiness is in your mind and in your heart. Not your organ, but the heart of your soul. It may be hard to imagine, but happiness is a choice.
I've heard girls tell me "I want to be happy. It can't possibly be a choice or I'd choose it. Bad stuff always happens to me."
They feel stuck. Stuck in a world without any control, without a map. They seek happiness and find boys or men who tell them what they think they want to hear. They have no meter that measures truth or respect. These girls were never taught that only they can define what they deserve.
My goal is to offer young women tools and training to find happiness from within. It's okay to seek pleasure as long as you understand that's what you are doing. Buy a new dress because you want a new dress, not because you feel bad and shopping makes you feel better.
Girls need a "Self Respect Meter". A tool that measures all aspects of their lives against a personal set of standards that she sets for herself. Point that meter at a guy and check to see if he qualifies to take her to the dance. Point that meter at a job or potential boss and see if they qualify to employ her. Will she move toward her goals with this in her life?
Well technology hasn't brought us there yet, but we can start with a decision making model. I recommend the book "Yes or No" by Spencer Johnson, MD. In it he tells a story that presents a formula for decision making. It's very simple. It's very valuable.
The first decision you can make right now is to find something, anything around you that you love. Be happy with it right now in this moment. You may be feeling so stuck that you cannot see anything that fits that bill. If so, let's practice by closing your eyes and remembering something that you love. Make it bigger, make it louder, more colorful. Now, feel that love. However brief you may have held that feeling, you chose it. You can choose it again. And again. It takes time and practice. After all, it took practice to feel bad. You had to learn it. You had to input negative data on a regular basis. You see, you were born perfect. You were born happy. What you may have missed is that you are still perfect right now.
May there be peace within you today.
May you trust God that you are
exactly where you are meant to be.
I look forward to your comments and posts. I thank you all for your kind emails and notes. Please continue to share this link with others and help me find girls all over the world. Thank you.
Heather Olson
Heather Olson
1 comment:
To paraphrase Eleanor Roosevelt, no one can make you feel inferior without your permission. People with poor self esteem make poor choices often with poor results.
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