The Gift of The Present

The Gift of The Present

This is not in any way a new concept. The idea was presented beautifully in the book “The Present” by Spencer Johnson, MD.

What exists is Right Now. Not 10 minutes ago or 10 minutes in the future. Just Now.

This is a simple concept that baffles nearly 100% of the population. Right Now, I’m fine. My kids are healthy, I am healthy, No one has a gun to my head. I’m fine.

So what’s the point? Good question. The point is simply that the past does not exist outside of our mind. The fear of the future has only the power we give it.

Our previous experiences can serve us or enslave us. If we identify with what happened in the past, ie: I am an incest survivor, I am a Katrina survivor, I am a flood victim, I am a… whatever applies, we empower a non existent illusion. The only power any past event in our lives can have is the power we give it. Don’t get me wrong. I believe we can and should learn from the events in our lives. I just don’t think we should allow those events to control us.

The future is no different. Today my outlook may be: “How will I put food on the table tomorrow?” or “I’m stuck in this crappy little house with a control freak running the show and I see no way out.” These thoughts reek havoc in our lives and control our thoughts. They also by their energetic nature invite like energy creating outcomes that match the current events. We get more of what we don’t want.

Well, that’s all well and good, but how do we break the cycle? Another great question. It’s not easy. I struggle with it every day. I regret things I’ve done. I fear tomorrow. I cringe over pretty much anything and everything that I cannot personally influence. (yes I get that that makes me a control freak myself) Ha ha.

The best answer I have come across is in the book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Dr. Stephen Covey. Not an easy read, very chewy but fantastic.

The first time I read it was about 20 years ago. I’ve picked it up at least once a year since. There are many points that are covered and I recommend reading the book for yourself, but for this essay I want to look at “The Circle of Concern” vs “ The Circle of Influence”.

Dr Covey’s point is quite simple. Focus your energy on things you can influence. Stay clear of those you cannot. Simple.

If your actions cannot directly affect the war in Iraq or hunger in Africa, or closer to home like the behavior of another person, quit trying. You have no influence. All you are doing is creating pain for yourself.

I tell my children when they are upset that someone said they were “mean” or “yucky” or whatever children say to each other, “The only person thinking about this right now is you. Therefore, the only person feeling bad is you. Only you can change how you feel. Only you have control over you.”

Good advice. (especially for me) I don’t like it when I feel that I’ve caused someone pain or ill feelings. I get that. I must maintain that I am the only person that can affect how I feel. What thoughts, good or bad, that occur in my head are solely my responsibility. Mine alone. No one can make you happy. No one can make you mad. No one but you.

Chewy stuff. Think for a moment about what’s happening this instant. Think about the smells, the sounds. What can you look at in your life, even just for a moment, that is good. What are you grateful for. Believe in that.

Choose to invite positive thoughts and share them with others. They are contagious. Not everyone will accept your gift. All gifts belong to the giver until they are accepted by the recipient.

Be generous with your gifts. Don’t accept gifts that don’t serve you.

Be Well. Be Abundant and Be Prosperous.

Blessing to you and yours,

Heather Olson